Let’s face it, the majority of us parents regard our children as our precious gift – bundles of innocence – and it’s difficult to imagine that they will grow up, move away and start a family of their own one day; this is especially true when they are babies or small children.
That’s why it’s even more difficult to fathom that one day they will get older and begin dabbling in criminality.
Despite what you may think, or how you may feel about the topic, dealing in drugs is illegal and punishable by law no matter what state you live in or what country you reside in.
I have lived in Canada all my life, and as canadiens, we never really had this contentious war on drugs like folks living south of our border. After all, marijuana has been legal nationwide here for some time now.
However, what to do if you find your child is dealing drugs in America?
Unlike Canada which has more relaxed drug laws, America has often taken a hard-line stance on not only drug users, and especially hard on the drug pusher as well.
Know The Signs Of Drug Dealing First:
If you already know that your child is dealing with drugs, feel free to skip this section if you like – although you may learn something new.
For those of you who suspect your child is dealing with drugs, I took the liberty to outline a number of signs and red flags you should watch out for.
Sign #1: They Show Off New Expensive Swag:
Unless you really spoil your child with expensive gifts and other material items, clothing and other nice things are a really great indicator that your son or daughter may be dealing drugs.
If your child once had a beat-up Samsung Phone, then all of a sudden they are sporting a nice new iPhone, a brand new car and a $10,000 wardrobe then this is a huge red flag that they are up to no good.
Sign #2: They Receive Suspicious Phone Calls:
Trust is everything, and if you trust someone there is no reason to be sneaking around with your phone calls, whispering so you can’t hear the conversation, or worse they acquired a second cellphone.
With respect to the second cellphone, if you are a huge fan of the TV series Breaking Bad then you know carrying a hidden cellphone is a real dealbreaker when it comes to trust (don’t allow your kids to emulate Walter White)
Sign #3: They Become Apathetic To Thier Past Interests:
If your child is dealing with drugs by selling them, you might notice that they have lost interest in once enjoyed activities like soccer, their studies or other once enjoyable hobbies they used to partake in.
Dealing in drugs takes a lot of time, effort and commitment (not to mention an element of risk), so expect your child to have the inability to juggle other once pleasurable activities.
Sign #4: A Drastic Change In Behavior:
Teens are prone to outbursts, so no surprise there. However, antisocial behavior and other relevant changes are often indicative of an underlying problem that something is going terribly wrong.
For example, your once outgoing sociable teen has all of a sudden become secretive or they may become inflamed, rude or defiant. Moreover, they might start going out or coming back at really odd hours – or worse, they are always sneaking out of the home behind your back.
Sign #5: They Are Now Hanging Out With A New Crowd Of Friends:
Let’s face it, we all change and evolve throughout our lives, and this is especially true for teenagers who are still attempting to search themselves so this in itself is not a huge concern.
However, where this goes terribly wrong is when you combine this with all the other red flags I mentioned above – and if they refuse to bring them around you then you really need to probe into what is really going on.
What Should You Do Now?
Once you know for sure that your son or daughter is dealing drugs, there are a number of steps you can do to confront the issue and ultimately help them to reform their illegal behavior.
Look For A Hidden Stash:
If I suspected my child in being a drug dealer, one of the first things I would do is look for their stash.
Due to sheer convenience, there’s a very good chance they would stash their illegal drugs somewhere in their room or other areas within your home.
Under the mattress is probably the first place I would look, although fairly obvious. Other potential areas are under the radiator, under a rug, inside the toilet, the bottom of drawers, concealed in books, gadgets or toys, etc.
My advice would be to take some time when no one is home and inspection of the whole house, not just his room.
If You Find Their Stash, think First Before You Act:
No matter how much mental preparation you take, nothing can prepare you mentally for the emotional disturbance you will face after finding your child’s drug supply.
It’s natural to feel a flood of emotions such as anger, confusion and of course an overall concern.
While your emotions and concern are certainly justified, you will need to take some time and collect yourself mentally before confronting your child.
Reacting only emotionally without logic and a game plan only means that the discussion with them will go nowhere fast. Subsequently, they may clam up and shut down mentally which would be the opposite of what results you’re looking for.
Let Them Talk, And Listen Intently:
Listening to your child is probably the last thing you want to do aside from yelling and raising your voice, however, it’s extremely important to allow them to explain the situation and the reason why they are peddling in drugs.
Ask open-ended questions like:
Why do you feel the need to peddle drugs?
Often times, if you ask them point-blank, open-ended questions you will uncover the real reasons why they chose this path of criminality.
If you can, find out exactly where he gets the drugs from, and who is their dealer.
Teenagers often get mixed up with drugs for a number of reasons such as coercion and fitting in with the cool crown; oftentimes, money is actually the secondary reason.
Listening and understanding their motives can give you some insight into the root cause of the issue at hand, while subsequently finding out a solution to set things right.
Come Up With An Effective Game Plan:
Once you’ve calmed down and you took the time to hear their side of things, start preparing yourself for an effective solution to the problem at hand.
I know I would want to do my own research on the specific drugs I have found. I would also want to research the laws surrounding drugs in your state as well as the consequences for peddling such substances.
Also, decide on your approach and the course of action you wish to take with him.
You can do what most parents would do and that is to locate a competent therapist, but unless you determine the root cause of the issue a therapist will most likely just be a waste of time (although they can help with determining the root cause if your child refuses to open up to you).
Another solution – and probably much less popular – would be to contact the local prison and let them know you have a troubled teen that needs to be scared straight.
If you ever saw the television show “scared Straight” then you know just how effective this type of intervention can be.
There’s a really good chance that once your child sees the type of surroundings await them inside the prison system they will think twice.
And let’s not forget the actual company they will keep once inside, I’m sure once they realize that they run the risk of getting ass-raped or beat up day in and day out they will think twice about committing a criminal act.
What To Do If You Find Out Your Child Is Dealing Drugs In America – Final Thoughts:
Discovering that your son or daughter has been dealing drugs is never an easy situation to deal with, most parents will react with anger without looking for a potential solution.
I created this post because I want to give parents the ammunition required to tackle this growing problem head-on, and with the best possible choices available.
Although effective, I don’t have all the answers for every potential situation, so if you do have some experience in this matter it would be great if you could leave me a comment, and hopefully, you have the courage to share what you did to combat the issue, and how effective your approach was.