In one of my earlier posts, I highlighted some detailed reasons why I don’t want to be a stepdad. And due to the popularity of that particular post, it only makes sense that I should post a follow-up that contrasts those reasons.
Is being a stepdad worth it?
It may not seem so on the surface, and I understand that each person has their reasons based on who they are.
However, here are 6 possible reasons why some folks might wonder if being a stepfather is worth it.
- An already made family can be appealing.
- No need to deal with birth delivery
- Developing relationships can be golden
- The rewards of fatherhood are immeasurable
- Making a difference in another child’s life is priceless
- Sexual attraction is something that you can’t ignore.
As mentioned above, there are 6 compelling reasons I have come up with which drive some men to seek an already made family. Let’s take a moment and dissect each one of these reasons a bit further, shall we?
An Already Made Family Can Be Appealing:
Call me crazy, but I can’t for the life of me understand how the perception of a perceived, already made family is appealing to some folks.
A family’s main appeal is one where you cultivate over time and develop relationships throughout the years with ensuing memories to come.
First, the perception of an already made family where you show up and assume dad’s role is a false narrative.
No one in any given family is waiting for you to show up, and each family member is most likely going to distrust you. Predictably, some family members such as children may overtly appear to be hostile.
Secondly, the type of connection needed to sustain a blended family’s health and happiness doesn’t happen overnight; it requires work, patience, and perseverance.
In other words, if you’re looking for an easy, convenient way to have a family, this approach isn’t it.
No Need To Deal With Birth Delivery
Birth delivery and pre-pregnancy is one area that is rarely talked about yet somehow glamorized as a fantastic experience.
IN a nutshell: you have approximately 9 months of absolute stress throughout each trimester only to have one final burst culminating into a hospital where you need to worry about delivery and potential complications.
When I had my second child back in 2013, she required 2 weeks hospital stay due to jaundice; we practically lived in the hospital for 2 weeks before being allowed to take her home.
I don’t know about you, but this entire ordeal from start to finish is an experience I wish could have been avoided in the first place.
Developing Relationships With Your Stepchildren Can Be Golden
Stepdads can develop close and caring relationships with their stepchildren, but it takes time and energy to succeed.
Taking time out of your busy schedule to play can help children perceive their stepdads as more than just wage earners or someone who wants to sleep with their mom.
If you’re serious – and I have no doubt that you are – It’s imperative that guys take them on outings, read to them, and engage in dialogue about their interests.
By doing so will help validate that they are valued.
The Rewards of Fatherhood
Childrearing is a lot of work, to be specific, but children are fun, too. They’ve not yet learned to take themselves too seriously and have a remarkable ability to take pleasure in the simple things in life.
Once they’ve had a child, many people say that being a parent brings them more happiness than any other aspect of their lives. Fathers and stepfathers who build strong, loving relationships with their children can take pride in knowing that they’re helping the kids to become happy, healthy, well-rounded individuals who’ll have the skills necessary to find success in the world.
Making A Difference Can Be Priceless
Let’s face it, most reasonable people know and understand that helping a fellow person out and making a difference in one of those feel-good moments creates a warm and fuzzy feeling.
It’s not surprising that many men would jump at the opportunity to make a difference in a child’s life – especially a child who is fatherless.
However, if that is your most compelling reason to become a stepdad, I suggest you look at big brother organizations to fulfill this desire.
Unfortunately, you are at the mercy of their mother, so if a bond is formed and cemented, it’s sad to think that she could terminate the relationship at the drop of a dime.
At least, when you align yourself with an organization specializing in child volunteering services, it’s not that easy to let you go unless you are a threat to their health and safety.
Sexual Attraction Is Something That Should Not Be Ignored
Let’s face it, the primary reason – and some might argue the only reason – a single man will ever entertain the idea of dating a single mom.
Sure, it’s reasonable to assume that the kids, lifestyle, and other factors come into play.
However, and I’ll repeat it:
The primary reason why two people get together as lovers and embark on a committed relationship is due to sexual attraction. And anyone who says otherwise is clearly out of touch with reality, or they are pushing a false narrative.
I’ll give a half-apology for what I said. However, suppose you are offended by pointing out what you may not want to accept because of some moral code you have internalized.
In that case, I suggest you look inward and figure out why you willingly placed yourself in this situation.
Countless articles are highlighting the detriments of dating a single mom. However, I wanted to do something different by taking a different approach.
By pointing out and asking if being a stepdad worth it, my goal is to take an opposite approach and force men in similar situations to look introspectively before embarking on this particular relationship.
Moreover, men involved in this type of scenario can pick up and leave if things get complicated.
However, the real victims in all this are the children treated as expendable, and it’s not just the men who are at fault; women are just as guilty following their lust.
Children are not pawns, and any relationship involving them should carefully be factored in as their lives matter the most in all this.