Cutting your child out of your life is a decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly. After all, children are your pride and joy, and most parents would do the world for them wanting to provide, and making sure they have the edge on life with the right education, a nice roof over their heads and making sure they don’t go hungry.
But what do you do when your children are all grown up, and they continually make problems for you by demanding that you support them financially? In fact, the only time you hear from them is when they want something from you.
And what do you do if your grown children maliciously turn against you, influencing your other children to turn their backs on you as well?
You may be on a fixed income and alone, but to your offspring, it doesn’t matter; you could be homeless and they wouldn’t bat an eye or lift a finger to help you.
Indeed, What do you do?
Believe it or not, there are some parents who actually have to deal with venomous offspring, and the scenarios really do exist for some parents where they are maliciously treated and manipulated to the point where they must make the tough decision on whether or not they should cut them off due to their toxicity.
So without further ado, here are 4 Signs You Have Toxic Children, and you should consider cutting your child out of your life.
They Only Call You When They Need Something:
We all get busy from time-to-time and that is perfectly natural, especially in today’s hectic world. However, when your children have grown up well into their 20’s and 30’s (or beyond) people tend to become less self-centered about themselves, and draw their parents back into their lives.
Regrettably, some kids as they get older never really grow up. In fact, they get even more self-centered.
And as they continue to get older and saddled with living expenses such as a mortgage, car payments and other extravagant expenses, these same self-centered folks expect YOU to pay for everything.
I have heard harrowing stories about parents who have literally been abandoned by their so-called children – whether in a nursing home environment or otherwise – feeling abandoned by your kids is a feeling that literally can be compared to having your heart and soul stolen from you.
There is something to say about teaching your children responsibility and accountability, but when they use you as an ATM that only serves their convenience and nothing more, it may be a sign to just start walking away from such people.
They Threaten You Either Physically, Emotionally Or Both:
Having your children threaten you either physically or emotionally is not that common, but it certainly does occur – especially when it comes to emotional abuse.. However, there are times when your children will react physically toward you by either a push or worse a grab or a punch.
Often times, this may occur when you put your foot down if they ask for money or something similar (asking you to pay their car payments or a mortgage).
You also hear terrible horror stories about elderly abuse that occurs in primarily nursing homes from disgruntled family members caught on hidden camera or by the nursing staff themselves.
I am going to go out on a limb by saying that this type of abuse almost always never just happens, it is often developed through a lifetime of abuse that has resulted in physicality.
Personally, I would encourage anyone who is suffering from physicality from not just their children but for anyone to call the police immediately and sever ties with the abuser.
Your Kids Are Taking Advantage Of You:
Having your kids take advantage of you can come in many forms – theft, false promises, and other deceptive means – which all fall under the same umbrella in my books.
It’s quite natural for small children to make repeated promises such as promising to clean up their rooms or do the dishes. However, where every parent must draw the line somewhere is when they are fully grown and have yet developed a sense of accountability.
False promises are by no way a yardstick to cut your children out from your life, but when it results is hampering your quality of life to the point where you can’t sleep at night, or constantly puts a huge dent in your wallet, you may want to consider distancing yourself from the toxicity.
If your adult children take it to the next level and actually steal from you directly, through forged documents or any other method of theft you should absolutely rid them from your life and for good.
Case in point: a mother has partially gone senile and the adult son begins manipulating her to sign documents awarding him part of her estate. Moreover, when he learns that she will not succumb to his pressure, he begins actually forging documents for his own financial gain.
In this case, it’s my belief that he should absolutely be cut off and for good and not take any more chances.
When They Really Don’t Give A Damn About You:
We all have our struggles, and as we age those struggles will most likely multiply, especially when you consider the health issues we all face as we age.
When you’re going through a medical crisis or otherwise, often times we turn to our family for help. Whether it helps financially or emotionally, it’s nice to know that your children will be there to lend at the very least a sympathetic ear.
If your going through a major medical situation like cancer, diabetes or something similar and your children are a way to disinterested to pick up the phone or return your phone calls, it might be a good time to reflect and reconsider where and who you should focus your energy on.
It is especially hurtful when a parent going through a major life tragedy has their own children turn their backs on you by cutting you off short and basically hanging up the phone.
I can’t say for sure when it is appropriate for any parent to make the tough decision on cutting your child out of your life, nor can I say for certain what each parent may or may not be able to tolerate.
For many – including myself – making the decision on cutting your child out of your life is not something I would recommend as a first approach solution to the problem.
If I were ever in that position where I am seriously contemplating whether my life would be better off without my children, I would sit down with them at a restaurant or someplace where quiet where we could talk, then explain my frustration to them.
Maybe they simply need to have their reality shaken a bit before they realize the error of their ways.
Other factors such as abuse and criminality are something I would not take lightly, and the chances are I would simply disown them without considering how they felt.
If you want my opinion, aside from theft and physical abuse, I think having at least 2 or 3 of these points would warrant a complete cut-off. Again, though, I do think your children should receive the benefit of the doubt, and you really should bring it to their attention before cutting your child out of your life.