There are many reasons why guys divorce or separate from a relationship.
Unfortunately, breakups are usually inevitable, and clearly, the breakup is typically initiated by one partner who is dissatisfied with the other person.
If you’re a guy and you find yourself in this position, here are 15 revealing signs you need to break up with her
- Compulsive lying
- She compromises your values
- You’re struggling to make things work
- She’s never there for you
- You’re forced to choose her over the family
- You’re happier when she’s not around
- She can’t connect with anyone you know
- No more sex
- You’re always fantasizing about others
- The cons vastly outweigh the pros
- She’s always holding you back
- Constant arguments that never cease
- She’s always breaking up with you
As outlined, there are many reasons to break up with someone. As such, there usually isn’t one reason only – apart from infidelity or abuse – why you should break up with her.
Rather, there is a cluster of things that are usually combined to form the over-arching reason why someone decides to say screw it and walk away without looking back.
Let’s look at each one of these points in more detail, shall we?
In my last article titled “How To Deal With A Divorce And Infidelity” I did my best to outline a step-by-step checklist of things that you should do if you are married and facing an infidelity situation leading to divorce.
As someone who has faced infidelity in the past relationship, my stance is a no-nonsense approach to cheating.
I strongly believe that once a cheater always a cheater, and while there are a small minority of folks who can be reformed the vast majority of cheaters will end up being serial offenders.
Besides, you need to ask yourself if being in a relationship where the trust factor has been eviscerated is really worth it?
I can’t answer that question for you, however, for me once the trust has been broken in a relationship there is no more relationship.
2. Compulsive Lying:
If there’s one thing I won’t tolerate in a relationship is a partner who is a compulsive liar.
It really doesn’t matter what they are lying about, it could be about what they do around the house when you’re not around like brushing the kid’s teeth or bathing them.
A woman who feels comfortable lying and then justifies it by saying things like it’s not a big deal it’s only a white lie or something similar means that her words can’t be trusted.
I know from a past relationship that someone who is a chronic liar is much more comfortable committing other sins such as adultery.
This is not to say that every liar is an adulterer, but there is something to be said about making excuses to justify a wrong.
There are many forms of abuse that can occur in a marriage. Things like physical and emotional abuse are very common throughout the relationship – and even sexual which is the least likely to be reported.
Whatever form of abuse you may be facing, it’s important to realize that none is this behavior is acceptable or legal at any given time.
Even sexual assault, if you say no and your partner ignores you any has sex anyways it’s a form of rape.
I encourage any abuse you may be facing as something that should be reported as it’s completely up to the abusee, however, I understand many men don’t feel comfortable coming forward with this.
Either way, abuse is absolutely a deal-breaker and you should not stick around, if not for your safety but for your mental health as well.
4. She Compromises Your Values:
Ths one area is tricky because if she compromises your values, then how is it you are both together?
Aside from spiritual awakening, it’s entirely possible that she has been living inside a different skin all this time, and it’s just now that her true colors have begun to show.
Regardless of the reason, being with someone who does not hold the same values as you can be extremely challenging.
For instance, if you want to have children, but your girlfriend is a staunch supporter of the so-called women’s right to choose movement and has no issue with murdering a fetus if she was ever to get pregnant.
For obvious reasons, this is but one example of a values clash.
5. You’re Struggling To Make Things Work:
If you’re in this frustrating situation, then you know that struggling to make a relationship work can be, well, frustrating.
Relationships do require some work, however, if you spend more time trying to “make it work” opposed to actually enjoying the relationship then you have a problem.
Despite the work any relationship requires, a healthy unity should have a natural ebb and flow to it, and if your relationship is lacking in this department then it might be a good idea to rethink things over for the better.
There is plenty of fish in the sea, so don’t feel that you have to be stuck with someone who by no means is compatible with you.
6. She’s Never There For You:
One of the beautiful things of being in a relationship is that you get to have someone who has your back, and they are there for you in every sense of the word.
Unfortunately, there are some men who are in what they believe is a harmonious relationship, yet when the going gets tough they are often left alone to handle things on their own accord.
Being in a relationship means that both of you should have each other back, not one side willing to put in 110% of the work while she bails when her being there counts the most.
7. You’re Forced To Choose Her Over The Family:
People like to make choices in life, and they don’t enjoy being told what to do or forced to make a decision that could severely impact them and their loved ones.
Such is the case against the woman who forces you to choose her over your family.
Perhaps she feels a little intimidated, or maybe there is a clear lack of respect toward her from the family.
Regardless, a mature and loving woman will understand that the family dynamics can at times be a little bit complicated.
It’s her job to convey her concerns to you and as a man in the relationship, you have to strike that balance and become the peacemaker.
However, if you find her shutting down and refusing to even try to get along while making you feel bad for your relationship with them, then the best thing for you to do would be to kick her to the curb and look for someone who’s less selfish.
8. You’re Happier When She’s Not Around:
Let’s face it, relationships should enhance the lives of both people, so if you find yourself happier when she’s not around then you have definitely have a problem.
Just to be clear, however, I’m not talking about having a day or two apart where a healthy break feels good – and then when you both come together again missing one another is a mutual feeling.
Rather, I’m more in line with the notion that when you are together most days of the week you fantasize about being apart from one another.
After all, relationships should not feel like a prison sentence so if yours feels that way it would be best to move on.
9. She Can’t Connect With Anyone You Know:
While this one may not be a deal-breaker, when added up with some of the other red flags listed here so far it certainly does add merit to the idea that a break up might be in order.
I’ve dated women in the past where some of my friends or family can’t make that connection, however, where this differs is when practically everyone you know and respect is all saying the same thing.
If you are in a relationship and she can’t connect with anyone on almost any level then you should take the blinders off and do some serious re-evaluation of the relationship and what you want out of it.
10. No More Sex:
This one should go without saying, any relationship you are in where the woman decides to withhold sex as a form of punishment or for whatever reason should be kicked to the curb immediately.
And I’m not talking about days here or there, of course, she may not always be in the mood and that’s fine.
As guys, we should always take her needs and wants into consideration and not be selfish pricks, however, when this becomes an almost permanent thing (being used as a form of punishment) then I see no reason to continue dating her unless you enjoy head-games and sexual deprivation.
11. You’re Always Fantasizing About Others:
When we become involved with a woman there should be enough chemistry to keep you going where you don’t need to constantly fantasize about other women.
Of course, some healthy fantasy is normal and healthy in any relationship.
However, where it becomes a problem is when the illusion of another woman suddenly becomes a permanent thing, and deep down you wish it were a stone-cold reality.
Unfortunately, this habit can also lead to a lack of sexual desire and ultimately a broken relationship.
12. The Cons Vastly Outweigh The Pros:
In anything, what we really do in life is typically a series of pros and cons that we must consider before embarking on any relationship – business, relationships, etc.
Therefore, it’s not surprising that the same pros and cons would be applied to any dating scenario.
If you’re busy contemplating a relationship and finding out that there really are not many – if any – pros in the relationship you are currently in then it’s probably time that you move on and find someone much more compatible.
13. She’s Always Holding You Back:
One thing that really bothers me in a relationship – and a reason it made my list of top 15 signs you need to break up with her – is that if you’re with a woman who intentionally holds you back by looking down at what you want to accomplish.
I’ve heard stories where the husband wants to make a career change, and the wife subsequently offers an ultimatum where it’s either them or the choice of the career choice they want to make.
More time than not, the underlying issue is almost always that they need to go back to school and upgrade their skills.
Even on a part-time capacity, the ungrateful partner will still become bitter because any disruption this selfish person must adjust to will cramp her lifestyle.
If you’re not married and you notice this major red flag turn and run the other way.
14. Constant Arguing That Never Cease:
I was in a relationship once where every day seemed like a constant war that would continue much like the movie Groundhog Day.
Instead of loving and respecting each other, a relationship where constant arguing is the norm not healthy regardless of who is to blame.
According to many researchers, high anxiety lifestyle causes panic attacks, breathing problems, depression, pounding heart, and loss of libido.
Considering all the mental and physical consequences attributed to arguing, it would be best to avoid these relationships.
15. She’s Always Breaking Up With You:
Most of us realize that when we’re in a relationship it will take some work from time-to-time as you get to know one another.
But what happens when you are in a relationship and every time you have an argument or a disagreement she decides to end the relationship?
Yes, as frustrating as this may sound, there are guys out there who have to face this reality at least once or twice per week.
Many times, the annoying girlfriend will use the breakup – or the threat of a breakup – as a way to distract you from her own mistake.
I don’t know about you, but if I have to spend a large portion of my time begging her to stay, and a constant pit in my stomach because today she might actually leave I would rather stay single in a heartbeat.
Relationships are tough to begin with, but when you constantly feel that you’re swimming upstream without a paddle it’s damn near impossible to have a lasting, positive outcome of any sort.
Truthfully, there are many more red flags you can come up with that warrant immediate action.
However, there is no disputing that the ones in my post are the ones to really watch out for.
As mentioned, some of them taken by itself may not be cause for an immediate breakup.
However, others like infidelity and abuse are cause for immediate action; ultimately it’s your call to make though.
Got your own list of signs that you need to break up with her you, or do you have a breakup story you would like to share with others? Share your stories down below in the comment section.