There’s no doubt, being a single dad is damn hard and most people think it’s all fun in the sun.
Indeed, it’s extremely rewarding but to say that there are no real struggles associated with single fatherhood is simply not true.
I’ve compiled what I believe are the top 11 things no one ever told you about being a single dad:
- People are going to give undue credit to your ex
- People will stare at you if you act silly
- Being a single dad will make you a better parent
- Exhaustion will be your middle name
- you won’t get the superhero credit
- your social life will take a complete hit
- Doing everything on your own
- It’s going to be the hardest job you ever had
- it will be the most rewarding experience
- your finances will suffer
- You may have to work long hours
There’s a lot of points listed above, and as stated these 11 things listed will come as a complete surprise to most of the single dads reading this for the first time.
That said, let’s take a moment and unpack each point and try and make sense of it all. Sounds good?
1. People are going to give undue credit to your ex:
You can buy your kids new shoes close toys video games that is impossible whatever oh, and they’re going to go to your kid’s mom and say your kid looks good today instead of giving us father the credit because we do help them on buying them stuff and we do our best to take care of them.
Everyone’s going to have an opinion of you raising your kids alone, but in the case of one single dad that I know he was doing everything right, he was providing for his children in every sense of the word and his ex’s parents were constantly bashing him accusing him of not doing right by them
No matter what he did nothing was ever right, But remember it’s not about anyone else’s opinion, it’s how you raise your kids and that’s ultimately what matters the most.
2. People will stare at you if you act silly:
I don’t care if I’m in the store, I don’t care if I’m out in public, if my kids want to act goofy I’m going to act Goofy too.
One thing I’m going to say and one piece of advice I’m going to give you is don’t hold yourself back with your kids.
When I was with my ex I had to always constantly act reserved otherwise we were guaranteed to get into a fight, so it wasn’t able to play with my kids the way I wanted to.
When you become a single dad and you start to ask silly, then all of a sudden people are going to stare at you like you’re some crazy person but who cares.
That’s your kids so people are just going to have to get over that and deal with that reality.
3. Being A Single Dad Will Make You A Better Parent:
The reason why I say that is because you going to get breaks from your kids whatever the kids are with their mom, or when I go to work so you will always have time to decompress your thoughts and feelings which, in turn, will ultimately make you stronger.
4. Exhaustion Will Be Your Middle Name:
You’re going to be exhausted working a nine-to-five job and then I have to come home and clean the house, watch your kids whenever you have them. It’s going to get exhausting, and you’re going to get tired and exhausted.
You just got to keep on pushing and grinding it out until the day is done.
5. You won’t Get The Super Hero Credit or Title:
I personally think single moms get that credit about being a superhero they always do and that’s something you cannot change.
You just got to be proud of yourself, and the work you put into raising your children should be a reward in itself.
Being a single dad is a thankless job but we love it anyway. After all, a real man doesn’t need validation for what they think is best.
6. Your Social Life Will Take A Complete Hit:
You’re not going to be able to go partying with the boys, you’re not going to be able to do what you want to do, you’re not going to be able to sleep in and play video games because you know what the responsibilities are.
Becoming a dad takes a level of responsibility where you have to make that sacrifice, and oftentimes you have to pick between going out with the boys or staying home and doing what’s right for the family.
If you truly love your family it won’t be a difficult decision and you will pick your kids over partying any day.
7. Doing It All On Your Own:
It really sucks. And, I’m talking about cooking, cleaning, disciplining your kids, and finding someone who actually allows it and doesn’t care that you have kids.
Many times, these women don’t want to date someone who has kids and I understand that, but sometimes when your all alone life can really be tough and lonely.
8. It’s Going To Be The Hardest Job You Ever Had
Nobody’s going to give a rat’s ass on how hard you work, how you’re paying bills, keeping up with your house, no one really cares.
When you work a traditional job even if it’s a long shift like 12 hours long or so you still come home when you get some time off to reflect, decompress, or whatever.
When you’re a single dad, your job never ends…
Even when you’re at work you’re thinking of your kids, and when you’re at home you’re thinking of work you still think of your kids. It becomes an endless stream of thoughts that constantly revolve around your children.
9. It Will Be The Most Rewarding Experience:
I’m the type of person that loves being a dad, I love spending time with my kids, I love shopping with them, I just love spending quality time with them in general.
The best advice I can offer you is to cherish every moment because they do grow up so fast and next thing you know they’re adults wanting to live their own life.
Hopefully, the bond you develop with them today will serve to keep the relationship strong in the future.
10. You’re Finances Will Suffer:
When you’re a single dad all of a sudden you going to have expenses that you never even thought of.
You may have child support payments, school fees, health insurance, add fuel costs running around two events picking up your kid’s things like that.
for me when I was a single dad my biggest expense was paying child support and I gave additional money to my ex to pay for things like clothing.
That made a huge dent in my income and I had to do my best to work around that.
11. You May Have To Work Long Hours:
Unless you’re blessed to have that career or inheritance that allows you to live life the way you want to, being a single dad means that in order to pay for all the extras you weren’t prepared for you will have to work longer hours at work, or what many folks to is a taken additional job.
for me, I had a second job where I work two days a week maybe every other weekend and I tried to work around that schedule based on the child care needs that I had at the time.
Once my daughter got a little bit older I was able to pay fewer fees in babysitting money as she was able to watch yourself. But ultimately I still had to pick jobs that centered around her visitation.
There’s no doubt about it if you’re a new dad and recently single there’s a lot to prepare yourself for.
When I first became a single dad I was completely lost and afraid of what I might do wrong.
I had no resources or anyone to turn to. And I certainly didn’t have articles that addressed the 11 things no one ever told you about being a single dad.
It’s my hope as I write this post to help other struggling dads out there and offer some hope to what may seem like a hopeless time in your life.
Are you a single dad with your own story you would like to tell? Or perhaps you enjoyed the article and would like to add to it.
Either way, I would love to hear from you. Leave your comments down below and I will reply straight away.